- "Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one." - Spike Milligan
- "There are no miracles on Mondays." - Amy Neftzger
- "On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks." - H. Allen Smith
- "I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite." - Tommy Cooper
- "On Monday, when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now is it true, or is it not, that what is which and which is what?" - A. A. Milne
- "Monday is the day of silence, day of the whole white mung bean, which is sacred to the moon." - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
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