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- "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

- "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey

- "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andy Rooney

- "If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one." - Andy Rooney

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- "I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better." - George Bird Evans

- "Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." - Lewis Grizzard

- "Whoever said you can't buy Happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill

- "According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog." - Jay Leno

Funny Dog Quotes Christmas

- "The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's." - Mark Twain

- "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber

- "Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it." - Laurence J. Peter

- "Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends." - Alexander Pope

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- "Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." - Josh Billings

- "The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

- "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz

- "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill

Funny Dog Quotes Instagram

- "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." - Aldous Huxley

- "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." - Dave Barry

- "Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs." - Jerome K. Jerome

- "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley

- "I bring my dogs on set with me, and my little dog Karoo is smart as a whip. She knows where the craft-services food tables are, so anytime I can't find her, I know she has found her way to that area. She's a funny dog." - Hilary Swank

- "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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- "I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

- "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." - Edward Hoagland

Funny Dog Quotes From Movies

- "I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" - Steven Wright

- "The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants." - Johnny Depp

- "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

- "A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." - Jack London

- "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man." - Mark Twain

- "Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?"" - Anthony Griffin

- "A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk." - Orlando Aloysius Battista

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Funny Dog Quotes For Facebook

- "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails." - Max Eastman

- "I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying." - George Bird Evans

- "Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made." - Roger Caras

- "Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog." - Doug Larson

- "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson

- "Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other." - Robert Benchley

Funny Dog Quotes And Pictures

- "Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger." - Albert Payson Terhune

- "The more I know about men the more I like dogs." - Gloria Allred

- "If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around." - Will Rogers


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